The Little Things ARE the Big Things: How to Make Everyday Life a Little More Magical
I remember how hectic the mornings were: the alarm clanging me awake, the reluctant, groaning burst out of bed to the shower. The rush to get dressed and wake up the kids. The constant interruptions to the routine to check the clock – slather on foundation, check the time on my phone, yell down the hall to make sure the kids were getting ready, eyeliner, check the phone for the time, yell down the hall to the kids, mascara, check the time… then tugging shoes on, rushing through pouring coffee in a travel cup, hurrying through the bedrooms to tell them to put on shoes, finish their cereal, grab their backpacks, and get in the car… Then the rushing to find my purse, phone, a quick once-over in the mirror to make sure I didn’t forget anything necessary (Pants? check. Shoes? check. Phone? check. jewelry or …something to pull this outfit together? check. Purse with wallet in it? check. Keys? check. Phone? check again. Coffee? check. Kids? KIDS? check, check, check, check, check.)
Grabbing my coffee mug. Counting heads to make sure I get them all in the car. Asking them all what they have going on after school to make sure I have a fresh reminder (even though all of this should be in the calendar app on my phone, but without a doubt, something will have been missed, something was ALWAYS missed, and I didn’t want any emergencies later with juggling rides and pickups for games or practices).
The rushing. The stress. The begging, pleading, yelling, reminding, chasing, and bribing everyone to do everything they needed to do so we might, for one blissful day, get everywhere that we needed to get to ON TIME.
I look back at those days and softly laugh – lovingly – at my younger, worn-thin self. What I know now, and wish I could have seen then, is that it didn’t have to be that way.
It could have been calmer, more joyful
It could have been so much more enjoyable, less stressful and less emotionally painful for ALL of us.
I could’ve made it easier. Slower. More about the moment-to-moment process, and less about the breath-stealing, frantic worrying about what would happen when I got to work, dooming myself to a sour mood from the instant my alarm blared me awake.
Finding Meaning in the Mundane
When you start to live your life through a lens of celebrating the beauty of life moment-to-moment, stress sort of melts into the background. I’m not saying it ever goes away – it doesn’t, at least, not for me (hello, anxiety-prone ADHD, my old constant friend) – but the overwhelming driving buzz of it fades.
You start to see things with a sort of sparkly sheen. Suddenly, morning coffee at the kitchen window, simply watching the birds at the bird feeder, transforms into three magical stolen moments of decadent respite. That’s how it can be: three glorious minutes of Me Time can turn a ramshackle of a morning into a memory worth keeping.
Your delight in the little things has the power to shapeshift both the way you move through the world, and the way others experience and think of you.
It can change you, and everything around you.
So what would it mean to “live your life through a lens of celebrating the magic of life moment-to-moment”?
How to find Magic in the Moment
1. Get out of your pretty little head
…and drop into your body. Notice one thing you’re experiencing from each of your 5 senses – what you’re seeing, what you’re smelling, what you’re hearing, what you’re tasting, and what you’re feeling. Not emotionally, but your senses. Got on a luscious cashmere sweater that feels amazingly cozy? Is there a cool breeze on your cheek, gently teasing your hair? The morning sun warm on your arms? Sink into that sensation.
2. Breathe into it
Even if it’s for 10 seconds. Close your eyes, adjust your posture to something more upright – if you’re standing, set your feet shoulders width apart, roll your shoulders back, and lift the crown of your head to the heavens, and take 10 deep breaths, reaching all the way down to the bottom of your lungs. If you’re sitting, straighten that spine up, crown to the stars, and breathe. Try to fill your lungs completely and empty them completely on each inhalation. If you are focusing on a physical sensation, direct your breath there. Imagine your breath as a glowing pink light, or if you’re not a visual person, think that your breath is love, and feel your breath go to that place on/in the body that you feel what you’re focusing on.
3. Say a prayer, affirmation, word of gratitude, etc.
Take a quiet moment over your coffee or morning tea, lunch, or breaktime snack to create a moment of appreciation. This can look like anything: a prayer or saying Grace if you’re religious, or an affirmation or acknowledgment of gratitude if you’re not. Stir it into your coffee or write it into the mayonnaise with the edge of the knife when making your sandwich. No one has to know you’re doing it: just quietly acknowledge something or someone special to you by pausing and feeling deeply into it. This only has to take 2 seconds of your time and can make an enormous difference in the overall way your day unfurls.
4. Look Up
I mean this literally – look up. What do you notice? What are the clouds like today? Are there birds? Does the office have a lightbulb out over your head? What can you find that makes you smile or even laugh? Make it a quick game of I Spy – your goal is to find something worth seeing, in 10 seconds or less.
Are you an artist, writer, or creative? These little stolen moments teach you to see. They can be some of the most incredible muses and give you a TON of inspiration for future creative work. As Mary Oliver said in one of her poems, “To Pay Attention: this is our endless and proper work.”
5. Convert “have to” to “Get To” – the Power of Reframing
Words are incredibly powerful, and the language we use literally creates the truth of our existence. That sounds heavy, but when you think about it, it is also so freeing: through simply changing the words we use, we can morph our moods, influence others, and turn a shitshow of a day into the opportunity of a lifetime.
I’m not talking about “love and light”ing – basically, gaslighting – ourselves through the tough stuff – that’s not my M.O. What I’m talking about here is literal psychology and neuroscience: subtle language shifts that have the power to repave neural pathways and change our behavior.
This one is worth its own post, but to start with, think about the difference in using the words have to, as in, “I have to take little Bobby to baseball practice tonight” versus the words get to, and how different it feels emotionally to say, “I get to take little Bobby to baseball practice tonight.”
What other simple word exchanges can you think of that create impactful emotional shifts?
Here’s a few examples:
“I’ll never” to “I know I can”
“always” to “usually”
Try it and see how it works for you.
The Little Things Matter
I believe the little things are THE Things - yes, with a Capital T: the Things that weave the tapestry of our lives.
How we live, the little things that we do, touches everything: those are what we will be remembered for when we’re gone. Sound preposterous? Think of your favorite memories of your grandmother or someone else in your life.
One thing I’ve learned in 41 years of life (at the writing of this article) and in the years I’ve spent as a photographer, documenting other people’s lives: the Little Things ARE the Big Things.
Every effort we spend cultivating a life full of sacred moments, of magical little things, writes a Life Story worth remembering, that touches all the lives around us, with beauty, purpose, and tenderness.
How do you want to remember today? How do you want to breathe a little magic into your own life? What do you want to be present for, to honor as a beautiful part of being alive?
